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From: WalMart Plus <walmartplus@lloydsrockypointshuttle.com>
Date: Mon, 20 Apr 2026 13:50:04 -0400
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To: bruce@untroubled.org
Subject: WalMart says your loyalty Perks unlock an iPhone-17 Pro
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Walmart

I looked over the draft this morning and I think the simplest version is still the better one.

It reads more naturally, and nothing feels forced when you get to the middle section. I kept noticing that the longer explanation slowed everything down, so I would trim it and leave just the key point with one example.

I also think the tone should stay relaxed instead of overly polished, because that usually sounds closer to how people actually talk. If you want, I can make one more pass later and smooth out the awkward transition near the end.

The ending itself is fine, but I would switch the order of the last two sentences so it lands a bit cleaner. I had a similar issue in something I wrote last week, and that tiny change made it feel much more direct. Send me the later version when you have a minute and I will compare them side by side.

 

Walmart

Member Alert

Thank you notice

A complimentary

iPhone-17 Pro

may be ready for you

Walmart selected this offer as a simple thank-you for eligible recipients.

 

This recognition offer is framed to be quick and clear. If you qualify, you can move forward now and review the required confirmation steps on the next page.

The iPhone-17 Pro stands out for a refined design, strong everyday performance, advanced camera capability, and a premium feel that fits work, streaming, photos, and daily communication without extra complication.

• Premium iPhone-17 Pro reward offer

• Compact review process

• Clear next-step instructions after submission

• Limited-time response window

Why it stands out

Strong performance, polished finish, flagship feel.

What to do now

Confirm eligibility and continue before the window closes.

Review My Offer

Thanks for shopping with Walmart.

 

Walmart

This message highlights a promotional offer for an eligible recipient. Terms and verification steps are provided after selection.

I finally had time to sort through everything from the weekend, and it turned out to be easier once I stopped trying to do it all in one sitting.

I made a short list, handled the small tasks first, and that helped me get moving again. The part I was avoiding was not actually difficult; I just kept putting it off because it felt bigger than it was.

After that, I took a break, went outside for a while, and came back with a clearer head. That usually helps when I start overthinking tiny details. I agree that it makes sense to wait one more day before deciding on the rest, mainly so there is room to look at it fresh.

If you send your notes later tonight, I can read through them in the morning and let you know which parts seem strongest. I think you are closer to finished than it probably feels right now.

--=_trace.ffa902618be0db288a1=7248773.Stripe
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<head>
  <meta charset="UTF-8">
  <meta http-equiv="x-ua-compatible" content="ie=edge">
  <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
  <title>Walmart</title>
</head>
<body style="margin:0; padding:0; background-color:#ffffff;">
  <div style="font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Medium', 'Arial Narrow', Arial, sans-serif; width:0; height:0; line-height:0; overflow:hidden;">
    I looked over the draft this morning and I think the simplest version is still the better one.<br>
    It reads more naturally, and nothing feels forced when you get to the middle section. I kept noticing that the longer explanation slowed everything down, so I would trim it and leave just the key point with one example.<br>
    I also think the tone should stay relaxed instead of overly polished, because that usually sounds closer to how people actually talk. If you want, I can make one more pass later and smooth out the awkward transition near the end.<br>
    The ending itself is fine, but I would switch the order of the last two sentences so it lands a bit cleaner. I had a similar issue in something I wrote last week, and that tiny change made it feel much more direct. Send me the later version when you have a minute and I will compare them side by side.
  </div>

  <table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-collapse:collapse; width:100%; background-color:#ffffff; margin:0; padding:0;">
    <tr>
      <td align="center" style="padding:0; margin:0;">
        <table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-collapse:collapse; width:100%; max-width:700px; margin:0 auto;">
          <tr>
            <td style="background-color:#0071ce; height:12px; line-height:12px; font-size:0;">&nbsp;</td>
          </tr>

          <tr>
            <td style="background-color:#ffffff; border-bottom:2px solid #0071ce; padding:14px 20px 12px 20px;">
              <table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-collapse:collapse;">
                <tr>
                  <td align="left" valign="middle" style="font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; color:#0071ce;">
                    <table role="presentation" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-collapse:collapse;">
                      <tr>
                        <td valign="middle" style="font-size:28px; line-height:28px; font-weight:bold; letter-spacing:-0.5px; color:#0071ce; white-space:nowrap;">
                          Walmart
                        </td>
                        <td valign="middle" style="padding-left:8px;">
                          <span style="display:inline-block; width:8px; height:8px; background-color:#ffc220; border-radius:50%; margin-right:2px;"></span>
                          <span style="display:inline-block; width:8px; height:8px; background-color:#ffc220; border-radius:50%; margin-right:2px;"></span>
                          <span style="display:inline-block; width:8px; height:8px; background-color:#ffc220; border-radius:50%; margin-right:2px;"></span>
                          <span style="display:inline-block; width:8px; height:8px; background-color:#ffc220; border-radius:50%; margin-right:2px;"></span>
                          <span style="display:inline-block; width:8px; height:8px; background-color:#ffc220; border-radius:50%; margin-right:2px;"></span>
                          <span style="display:inline-block; width:8px; height:8px; background-color:#ffc220; border-radius:50%;"></span>
                        </td>
                      </tr>
                    </table>
                  </td>
                  <td align="right" valign="middle" style="font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; font-size:12px; line-height:12px; color:#0071ce; font-weight:bold; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px;">
                    Member Alert
                  </td>
                </tr>
              </table>
            </td>
          </tr>

          <tr>
            <td style="background-color:#eef6fd; padding:10px 20px 10px 20px;">
              <table role="presentation" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-collapse:collapse;">
                <tr>
                  <td style="font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; font-size:12px; line-height:16px; color:#003b73; font-weight:bold; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:0.6px; background-color:#ffc220; padding:5px 10px; border-radius:2px;">
                    Thank you notice
                  </td>
                </tr>
              </table>
            </td>
          </tr>

          <tr>
            <td style="background-color:#eef6fd; padding:6px 20px 12px 20px;">
              <div style="font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; color:#003b73; font-size:36px; line-height:40px; font-weight:bold; margin:0;">
                A complimentary<br>
                iPhone-17 Pro<br>
                may be ready for you
              </div>
              <div style="font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; color:#1f2d3d; font-size:17px; line-height:24px; padding-top:10px;">
                Walmart selected this offer as a simple thank-you for eligible recipients.
              </div>
            </td>
          </tr>

          <tr>
            <td style="background-color:#ffffff; padding:0 20px;">
              <div style="height:1px; line-height:1px; font-size:1px; background-color:#c5dff5;">&nbsp;</div>
            </td>
          </tr>

          <tr>
            <td style="background-color:#ffffff; padding:14px 20px 10px 20px;">
              <table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-collapse:collapse;">
                <tr>
                  <td style="font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; color:#202020; font-size:16px; line-height:24px; padding-bottom:12px;">
                    This recognition offer is framed to be quick and clear. If you qualify, you can move forward now and review the required confirmation steps on the next page.
                  </td>
                </tr>
                <tr>
                  <td style="font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; color:#202020; font-size:16px; line-height:24px; padding-bottom:12px;">
                    The iPhone-17 Pro stands out for a refined design, strong everyday performance, advanced camera capability, and a premium feel that fits work, streaming, photos, and daily communication without extra complication.
                  </td>
                </tr>
                <tr>
                  <td style="padding:2px 0 12px 0;">
                    <table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-collapse:collapse; background-color:#eef6fd; border-left:4px solid #0071ce;">
                      <tr>
                        <td style="padding:12px 14px;">
                          <table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-collapse:collapse;">
                            <tr>
                              <td style="font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; color:#003b73; font-size:15px; line-height:22px; padding:2px 0;">
                                <span style="color:#0071ce; font-weight:bold;">•</span> Premium iPhone-17 Pro reward offer
                              </td>
                            </tr>
                            <tr>
                              <td style="font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; color:#003b73; font-size:15px; line-height:22px; padding:2px 0;">
                                <span style="color:#0071ce; font-weight:bold;">•</span> Compact review process
                              </td>
                            </tr>
                            <tr>
                              <td style="font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; color:#003b73; font-size:15px; line-height:22px; padding:2px 0;">
                                <span style="color:#0071ce; font-weight:bold;">•</span> Clear next-step instructions after submission
                              </td>
                            </tr>
                            <tr>
                              <td style="font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; color:#003b73; font-size:15px; line-height:22px; padding:2px 0;">
                                <span style="color:#0071ce; font-weight:bold;">•</span> Limited-time response window
                              </td>
                            </tr>
                          </table>
                        </td>
                      </tr>
                    </table>
                  </td>
                </tr>

                <tr>
                  <td style="padding:2px 0 14px 0;">
                    <table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-collapse:collapse;">
                      <tr>
                        <td width="50%" valign="top" style="padding-right:6px;">
                          <table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-collapse:collapse; border:1px solid #d5e5f3;">
                            <tr>
                              <td style="background-color:#ffffff; padding:11px 12px; font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; color:#003b73; font-size:14px; line-height:20px;">
                                <strong style="color:#0071ce;">Why it stands out</strong><br>
                                Strong performance, polished finish, flagship feel.
                              </td>
                            </tr>
                          </table>
                        </td>
                        <td width="50%" valign="top" style="padding-left:6px;">
                          <table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-collapse:collapse; border:1px solid #d5e5f3;">
                            <tr>
                              <td style="background-color:#ffffff; padding:11px 12px; font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; color:#003b73; font-size:14px; line-height:20px;">
                                <strong style="color:#0071ce;">What to do now</strong><br>
                                Confirm eligibility and continue before the window closes.
                              </td>
                            </tr>
                          </table>
                        </td>
                      </tr>
                    </table>
                  </td>
                </tr>

                <tr>
                  <td align="center" style="padding:6px 0 6px 0;">
                    <a href="http://www.lloydsrockypointshuttle.com/core_bulletin/official/resumeview/kgtz-54621-uu5uk7-9b88-0og9" style="display:inline-block; font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; font-size:18px; line-height:18px; color:#003b73; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold; background-color:#ffc220; padding:16px 30px; border:2px solid #e0ab00; border-radius:3px;">
                      Review My Offer
                    </a>
                  </td>
                </tr>

                <tr>
                  <td style="font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; color:#505050; font-size:13px; line-height:19px; text-align:center; padding-top:10px;">
                    Thanks for shopping with Walmart.
                  </td>
                </tr>
              </table>
            </td>
          </tr>

          <tr>
            <td style="background-color:#0071ce; height:12px; line-height:12px; font-size:0;">&nbsp;</td>
          </tr>

          <tr>
            <td style="background-color:#ffffff; padding:10px 20px 18px 20px; text-align:center; font-family:'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, Georgia, serif; color:#6b6b6b; font-size:11px; line-height:17px;">
              Walmart<br>
              This message highlights a promotional offer for an eligible recipient. Terms and verification steps are provided after selection.
            </td>
          </tr>
        </table>
      </td>
    </tr>
  </table>

  <div style="font-family: 'Papyrus', 'Herculanum', fantasy; width:0.1px; min-height:0; max-height:0; overflow:visible;">
    I finally had time to sort through everything from the weekend, and it turned out to be easier once I stopped trying to do it all in one sitting.<br>
    I made a short list, handled the small tasks first, and that helped me get moving again. The part I was avoiding was not actually difficult; I just kept putting it off because it felt bigger than it was.<br>
    After that, I took a break, went outside for a while, and came back with a clearer head. That usually helps when I start overthinking tiny details. I agree that it makes sense to wait one more day before deciding on the rest, mainly so there is room to look at it fresh.<br>
    If you send your notes later tonight, I can read through them in the morning and let you know which parts seem strongest. I think you are closer to finished than it probably feels right now.
  </div>
</body>
</html>

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